not much time for blog writing these days...the holiday whirlwind has begun a'blowin! I've been putting 7 day weeks for a while now and realized I was just a wee bit overstressed earlier this week when I blew a gasket and ended the day in tears over a shipping mishap. (nothing broken or damaged, just a postal return that needed to be rerouted to a gift recipient--it all worked out fine in the end)
Time to reassess how hard I'm working, and how much I let it get to me. Perspective is a good thing.
At the moment, I have a relative on his deathbed over in Europe, and took some time today to call overseas and spoke with him and his wife and son. It's very hard not being there to say goodbye, and knowing we won't see him on this earth anymore, and what a dear man he is and that he will be gone soon from our lives. I've been wandering in circles all day, knowing I should be working but also knowing it's much, much more important to attend to his passing however I can. Sitting down with the phone to speak to family, and cry together, letting myself be raw and sad and teary. Talking with my son about it...
I know later I will put in a few hours in the studio--the mugs and bowls I threw yesterday need their handles and decoration. I wonder how the state of my heart right now will affect my work. I always want my pieces to be imbued with my presence--that is what I enjoy most about being a potter--sharing a part of my spirit in my work. Right now that part of me is full of emotion, for letting someone go, feeling very tender about the loss of a wonderful person from our lives. Yet I'm not in a bad place, even though I'm sad--just a very bittersweet and poignant place.