Those of you familiar with this blog know that I don't get too personal in here, so brace yourselves...I wrote most of this post a few days ago and have been hesitant to post it, maybe it's a bit too revealing of my inner workings, maybe it's self centered silliness, maybe someone will find it of interest and of value. I normally reserve this sort of material for my private journal, but it is such a good example of what I call my spiritual life and what guides me, weaving my inner and outer worlds together...so my hesitance to post it just now again this morning got another synchronistic jolt that has pushed me to publish it...
Monday: I dreamt I birthed a baby last night. I've often dreamt of being pregnant, but never of the actual birth. This was a quite a vivid dream, in which I was the young wife of a weathy Arab man who was the youngest son of three in his family. His two older brothers had long been married and their wives had birthed several children and now I was the laboring to bring the next child into an already large family. My two sisters-in-law wanted nothing to do with me as I was a new young wife competing for territory and power, so I was content to keep to myself and my beloved husband. In the dream I was aware that my husband and I posessed a pleasant and sweetly comforting relationship that made me very happy despite petty jealousies that surrounded us in the large family home. As my time drew near, I seemed to have been abandoned by the other women in the household and I found a quiet room in the house and decided to simply squat down to birth my child. I waited and waited thru the contractions until the midwife declared I was already dilated 12 cm--(ha! more than ready!) and I (being somewhat lucid in this dream) remembered somewhere learning that the baby can birth himself and I should just follow my body's natural direction. Since there were no other women telling me what to do I did not feel the need to push, instead, I allowed the gentle, firm force of the contractions to push the baby. It was rather intense, but with very little discomfort, and fairly quickly he emerged from me sliding smoothly out of my body and into my hands and I just held him there staring down at his slippery warm body. He slowly opened his eyes, locked onto me with his gaze and smiled at me.
Now my memory of this dream is still very clear, and I can so clearly see and feel this tiny baby boy I held in my hands, his face beaming up at me. The image is burned in my consciousness. I love it when I have a captivating dream like this that is rich in all sorts of ways, and I spend a lot of time in the subsequent days recapping the dream in my head and ruminating on the symbolism in my life, etc. This is one of those dreams, of course, and it will certainly leave a mark.
And the synchronicity thing today...which is somehow connected to everything else... I'm often noticing synchronicities in my life, and today it is the song 'Blackbird' from the Beatles. I was reading Sharilyn's blog to see what's new and she had made a lovely little compilation of bird related songs for her young daughter. She posted the playlist and I was reading thru the titles and one of them was 'Blackbird' from the Beatles, which among all the other lovely songs, didn't really make much of an impression. But then, not 10 minutes later, I was reading Kim's blog scrolling down thru the posts and just last week she had posted a video from Youtube of Crosby Stills and Nash performing their version of the song, 'Blackbird'. Funny huh? and I watched the video and kinda had a moment at the line, "All your life, you were only waiting for this moment to arrive."
So I've been thinking about this post for a couple of days, and wondering if this sort of thing happens to other people...and what they make of it, and maybe I'm a bit silly for finding these synchronicities so fascinating and letting myself get all excited when they happen. I do generally feel like the web of life is a deep and magical thing, completely non linear and when I get these syncronistic messages that usually serves as a reminder of that interconnectedness.
Now it is Wednesday, and, like I said, I've been wondering if maybe these episodes are meaninful only to me, and would be rather self indulgent to post them here... and then this morning while I was working on some bird vases,
and listening to KCRW radio, and a snippet from this show with Paul Mc Cartney came on and Paul started to talk about writing the song 'Blackbird' and proceeded to play a little acoustic version of the piece. I was just floored. I decided I had to to share the story.
When these things happen I do get a sort of thrill and feel like there is some meaning here for me to decipher... but right now I'm just going to let that idea rest, and just enjoy feeling connected to the bigger picture.